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Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

anxious-presentiment-photo-by-pulpoluxI’ve been feeling very anxious these past few days. Actually, I’ve always been. I don’t know why. A lot of things bother me. And my hormonal imbalance problem frets me further.

Today, I am blogging once again to at least free my mind from some of the anxieties I’ve been dealing with ever since I’ve had this hormonal imbalance. I’ve been through a lot of TVS, fertility drugs, medicines to normalize my menstruation, even timed intercourse and this time, I will go through a procedure that is new to me – HSSG. Yes, I’ll have my HSSG procedure this afternoon.

So what is HSSG?

HSSG or Hysterosalpingoscintigraphy is a simple method to evaluate the transport function of the uterus and fallopian tubes. Read more here. I wasn’t able to get enough information about this procedure hence it really scares me. 😦 But I don’t want to give up.

I just hope that this time, it’ll work so I won’t have to go through IVF (in-vitro fertilization).

I need your prayers guys. Thanks in advance.

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how am i…

I had my last blog entry dated August 22 but seems like I have abandoned this page for months…maybe because making a post is not one of my priorities now…with all the pressure at work, I don’t think I can still manage to update my blogsite every day…as much as I want to release and blog about my feelings (my anger for instance) here, I just can’t…I am loaded with tasks…

ciao for now…

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Unlike Yona, I have the chance to visit my friendster account from time to time but I haven’t uploaded my latest pictures…well, for the reason that friendster is one of the restricted sites here in our office and proxy sites would simply not allow me and some of my officemates (you know who you are) to upload pictures, reply to messages, and approve comments and invitations…it’s my facebook account which I haven’t touched for ages…I didn’t try checking my facebook account using proxy sites…I just don’t feel like visiting it…

but why can’t I visit my facebook and friendster account when in fact, I have my brother’s laptop at home and I have a globe broadband internet connection? my brother entrusted me his laptop (so I get to visit my F&F accounts often) plus of course the monthly payment of the internet when he transferred to Pasay…but when I moved in to my bestfriend’s apartment two weeks ago, my F&F accounts had been abandoned…

I don’t have the laptop anymore that I used to have when I was in Mandaluyong because when I asked Globe if they could transfer my internet connection to my new place, the customer service told me that they do not offer services there yet…so what’s the use of bringing the laptop with me? So there, I just left it to my sister…

But to our surprise, SonicWall haven’t been working since yesterday…so yeah, we had the chance to check friendster…Yehey! At last, I have been able to upload my latest pictures…

Hmmm…today is really a bad day and I have actually a lot of stories to tell but i’m not going to post all of them here…I don’t want to totally ruin my day and your day as well…I just want to thank Ryan for his post and those who left their comments…you brightened up my day, Ryan…

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Abbie, Biggs, Rom-Rom (because her name is Abigail Roma), or Abigail, one of my classmates from high school came home from Brunei together with her husband and three kids to visit her family…after spending a week with her family in Masbate, our hometown, she asked Cecille if we could meet and see her before leaving for Brunei…so Cecille dropped a line to some of our classmates to let them know that we will have dinner at Fish & Co, Shangri-La Plaza Mall…the dinner happened last night…as usual, I was the first to arrive, followed by Kiti – Cecille – Kathy – Biggs – Dindo and lastly, Neri-Ann with her hubby, Joeff…we just had New York Fish & Chips, Prawn Fettucini with Creamy Mushroom Sauce, Baked Oysters with Spinach and Cheese, mango juice, and flavored tea…

Pictures? I’ll ask Biggs to email me our pictures, as in ASAP…btw, thanks Biggs for the L’Oreal lipstick…*wink*

On a different topic, I’m upset; really disappointed…I have my period… meaning, I’m not pregnant…at first, I thought it was just implantation bleeding but it wasn’t…

Light Spotting – if you have conceived, spotting can happen when implantation occurs before your menstrual period should begin. Pregnancy bleeding from implantation is pinkish or brownish and not heavy. A normal menstrual flow should begin light, become heavy, and then taper off again before ending…

today is the second day of my period…and it’s heavy…just like my normal monthly period, heavy on the 2nd day…but I will still try…I’ll ask my OB-GYN if I should continue my medication (provera) to normalize my menstruation but I will stop taking clomid for now…please keep on praying for me guys… =(

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With Cebu Pacific’s tempting low fare rates, you can go to your desired places at any time you want and without having second thoughts. With their line “it’s time everyone flies”, you’ll surely book a flight immediately. And that’s what I did. I instantly booked for a flight to _______ (haha!) my friends kept on asking me where I’ve been. It’s a secret. Going back to the topic, this is not my first time (it’s my 4th) to travel with Cebu Pacific and this is not my first time to experience a delayed flight as well. On my four air travels with Cebu Pacific, I have experienced two delayed flights.

My first travel with Cebu Pacific was November last year (Manila-Iloilo). Actually, I should be traveling with Cebu Pacific from Legazpi to Manila and from Manila to Iloilo with Philippine Airlines. Unluckily, the weather that day was not so good; as a result Cebu Pacific cancelled the flight. I had no choice but to ride a bus from Legazpi to Manila and book another flight (with Cebu Pacific) from Manila to Iloilo the next day. November 30, 2007 – If I remember it right, we should leave Manila by 4PM but unfortunately, we left Manila past 5 already. Almost an hour and a half of waiting…sigh…

My second delayed flight experience with Cebu Pacific happened last Monday. ETD: 5:05PM, ETA: 6:10PM…but guess what…we left _______ Airport at 7:05PM…2hrs of waiting (again)…

So, what do you think? Will I book with Cebu Pacific again?

Perhaps, I would check the fare rates with Philippine Airlines first before booking a flight with Cebu Pacific…

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life is really unfair…

while doing this post, i’m crying…I don’t want to make a blog entry about my sadness…but I can’t help it…I’m suffering from this misery for two weeks now…after I’ve learned about our salary adjustment…

if there is one thing I want right now, it is to go home…to go back to the place where I used to be so happy…genuinely happy…in spite of the not so low salary, I find happiness…so now, I’m asking myself, “did I make the right decision?”

what have I done to deserve this? I’m working hard…I cried, yes I cried…twice…but I continued to work hard…I cry because that’s the easiest way for me to release my resentment…and now I’m crying again…

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soul searching…

I have this urge to write a blog but I dunno where and how to start…Im battling with myself now…I hate this feeling…I have so many questions…

Is my current situation making me happy and would it make me happy eternally or it’s just burning me to hell?

Am I just making my life complicated?

What is life all about?

What’s my purpose in this world?

Why can’t I find my true happiness? I also deserve to be happy, right? We all deserve to be happy…

But what can make me happy? I want answers to these questions…These are just a few of the questions I have in mind …

I guess, Im at a stage of soul searching…

True, from time to time, life can suddenly seem strangely pointless, if not painfully absurd…and occasionally, a need for deeper answers becomes more than a simple curiosity…we can either shrug those moments off or let them eat at us…but unfortunately for me, as much as I want to shrug those moments off, they just swallow me instead…

whew! Life’s a mess…If only I could turn back time…

For now, I will just try to look around and see if life makes sense to me…

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